Big K Pineapple Passionfruit Soda

I just cleaned up dog vomit so by comparison this soda may get a more amazing rating than it deserves, but who knows it may knock my socks off!  The soda I’ve now mentioned in the same breath as dog vomit is Big K’s Pineapple Passionfruit Soda, another gift from the Santa-esque D. Dub.  Santa gives you things you ask for, whereas D. Dub gives you stuff he thinks you won’t like.  He’s the anti-claus really.  Anywho, this is a chemical filled beverage with a light peach color and a label like you would only expect on a 2 liter bottle of Big K.  To this day I have no idea what a passionfruit is, but I can guess that it’s pretty tasty.  How could it not be tasty when it’s called PASSIONfruit.  The software I’m typing this on really doesn’t like the fact that I keep writing it “Passionfruit” instead of “Passion Fruit”, but I’m only doing so because that’s how it’s written on the jug.  Enough chit chat… let’s do this thang!

Upon huffing said beverage I notice little to no pineapple scent escaping the opening of my Missile Command pint glass.  I’m guessing the scent I’m experiencing is that of the ever quirky Passionfruit, but that’s just a hopeful guess.  Honestly it smells a little “peachy” to me, but that might have everything to do with the color of the beverage.  On to the tasting!

Very nice for a chemical filled soda.  The carbonation visits you throughout the sip, never being the most powerful ingredient until the end.  Again, I’m not tasting a lot of pineapple here but it’s not completely absent.  It’s almost as if right as Pineapple got his pinkie toe in the bottle Peach walked up to him and made fun of his complexion.  Pineapple, now distraught, decided to give up on ever being a part of Big K Pineapple Passionfruit Soda and fell into a deep depression.  Fortunately for him the fine makers of the Dole Whip asked him to be their featured performer and he has been succeeding like gang-busters ever since.  It’s pretty much the exact same thing that happened to Jennifer Hudson.  Meanwhile back in the soda… there is also a bit of a plum flavor present as well.  I notice the plum becoming more involved during the final act of this performance, also known as the aftertaste.  Ok so maybe I don’t know what a passionfruit tastes like but I do know that this tastes like Peach Punch.  Not quite peach, not quite punch, add some carbonation and other flavors and there you have it… Peach Punch!  Quickly!  To the patent board! 

~A

Faux Fact:  The "glass pineapple" seen in this picture is the actual type of pineapple used in this soda.