Pepsi Mango Zero Sugar

Coca-Cola with Coffee Zero Sugar - Vanilla

Coca-Cola with Coffee Zero Sugar - Dark Blend

Green Cola

Coca-Cola Zero (2005)

Coca-Cola Zero Sugar (2017)

Onli Hibiscus Pomegranate Strawberry

Sigh… I’m worried about this review.  The last two sodas from Onli that I tasted did not agree at all with my buds.  To make matters worse today’s flavor includes hibiscus, something I’ve never really enjoyed.  The name it’s parents call it when it’s in trouble is Onli Hibiscus Pomegranate Strawberry.  It’s unsweetened and a beautiful rose color.  I know it’s unsweetened because it says so in bold print at least three times on the bottle.  So… here we go with the lowest expectations possible.

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He's trying to see what the iguana is looking at.

The aroma is a nice, light strawberry scent that tries to seduce my mind.  It’s not going to work though.  Even though this smells of something I should sip on a hot summer day I know better… or at least I think I do.  

Onli makes the world's most confusing beverages.  I’m 100% ok with this.  It’s not delicious and amazing, but I understand what their doing and approve.  The two sodas I had prior to this one didn’t compute in my mind or mouth.  In my opinion, and that of the people around me while reviewing, they were awful.  

Onli Hibiscus Pomegranate Strawberry starts off with a bitter burst, but it transitions easily into a pomegranate/strawberry mineral water.  It’s definitely a sipping beverage and not a chugging one.  The fragile flavors fight with the bitters of the hibiscus and carbonation, but ultimately the sides call truce and live in harmony.

A powerful array of bubbles is ever present and adds some texture to the mouthfeel of the soda.  There is not a strong aftertaste and your mouth gets no syrupy buildup sip after sip.  I feel alright drinking this, no guilt at all.  Then again there are maybe 3 beverages I’d have any guilt about consuming.  

So that’s it then.  Onli makes sodas that flit and flicker all across my taste spectrum.  Thankfully my most recent memory of them will be positive.  Want an unsweetened soda that you might actually enjoy, give this one a try.

~A

This soda was purchased at an HEB Grocer

Xyience Xenergy Grape

Another beverage from the folks at Xyience and it’s supposed to help with both energy levels and hydration.  What I’ve got in front of me is a can of Xyience Xenergy Grape.  From my previous Xenergy reviews I know that this is going to be more of a Gatorade/Powerade type beverage in terms of taste.  Hopefully it stands out enough from the pack that I can reward it with a good review.  Personally I think it’ll taste alright, but not be anything to write about...even though I’m about to.  Here’s to me being wrong.

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Twist was a Xyience major in college...the first time.

A stronger than suspected grape aroma jumps out of the mouth of the can.  Immediately my doubts are turned into cautious optimism.  Will a truly delightful grape taste be awaiting me instead of the somewhat watered down version I was expecting?

Ok, we’re working with a couple of positives and a couple of negatives here.  Positive number one is the strength of the grape.  It is stronger than your G’s and P’s, but not quite as strong as a grape soda.  Even though it’s not carbonated there’s even a little bit of a punch to the finish.  It’s a very smooth drink and I would even classify it as refreshing.

The negatives, or negative in this case, stops this from being an above average drink experience.  With each sip I get a burst of Pedialyte taste.  Now while I’ve learned that many folks like the taste of Pedialyte I am not one of them.  This just opens up memories of when I was sick as a child.  You may have noticed that I use the Pedialyte comparison quite a bit when it comes to lifestyle beverages.  I think this is because their makeup is similar and their goal of hydration is the same.  Unfortunately I have negative thoughts regarding this taste so the review score usuall suffers.

In the case of Xyience Xenergy though I will give them credit for having a decent grape taste.  They do a really good job with their flavor even though they are sugar and calorie free.  So I at least recommend you pick up a can the next time you see it.

~A

This beverage was supplied to us by Xyience.

Xyience Xenergy Pineapple

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Twist felt flat today, but his thighs looked GREAT!

Today’s Xyience experiment is pineapple flavored.  Technically this can of Xenergy is +Lemonade, whatever that means, in addition to being pineapple flavored.  I’m honestly not sure what to expect here, but I’m rolling with it.  Like all the other Xyience products that we’ve reviewed it’s sugar free and has zero calories.  They’ve been hit or miss so far in the flavor department so it will be interesting to see what side of the fence pineapple lemonade falls.

As the can cracks open the faint aroma that arrives is more lemonade than pineapple.  In fact I’d be amazed if I could identify this as pineapple flavored based on the scent alone.  Hopefully the taste doesn’t leave that much to mystery.

The initial taste I get is the tart bite of a lemon.  Slowly it washes away and transforms into the pineapple lemonade we were promised.  Truthfully it’s lemonade pineapple as the real star of the show cannot be mistaken.  Throughout the entire gulp the lemon teases the tip of my tongue with a tingle of sour.  This leaves the rest of my mouth awash with an average tasting lemonade.  It’s on par with Minute Maid lemonade, which to me is on the weaker side of the big name brands.  

Xyience Xenergy Pineapple is a very refreshing beverage.  Something I would happily reach for on a sweltering day.  It goes down smoothly which makes it easy to return for another sip.  The lack of sugar isn’t overly noticeable and the flavor while pleasant isn’t memorable.  All in all it’s a good energy drink, but an average tasting beverage.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Xyience

Xyience Xenergy Tropical Punch

So the last time I tried a Xyience Xenergy beverage I was quite impressed.  It was refreshing, the taste was pretty good, it was all I needed it to be.  Well today’s review is of Xyience Xenergy Tropical Punch where the key idea is Hydration.  Tropical Punch flavor is caffeine free, sugar free, and loaded up with B vitamins.  It’s also enhanced with electrolytes, but whatever.  I just want this to be a tasty fruit punch.

Upon cracking open the can I get a familiar aroma.  This smells a lot like Hawaiian Punch, but not quite as fierce.  So they have the proto-typical fruit punch aroma happening.  Will it translate into the flavor?

Meh, kinda.  This tastes like watered down tropical punch which makes sense because it’s a “Hydration” product.  I guess I should really be comparing the taste of this to Gatorade or Powerade, but I have my own standards of delicious tropical punch taste.  In this case the “punch” is limited and the “tropical” is boring.  As powerful as the flavors were in the last beverage I reviewed, typically much more subtle flavors at that, I expected topical punch to blow me away.

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Twist was the muse behind 1999: A Space Oddity

Aside from being “watered down” there’s something in the aftertaste that just seems out of place.  It’s a combination of burn and bitter that lasts for just long enough to sour my opinion on this beverage.  The more that I chug it the more medicinal the aftertaste becomes.  Wandering away from tropical punch and moving toward Pedialyte.  I’ll be able to finish it this one time, but it’s not really something I’d be reaching for again.

So you’re saying to your monitor right now “Monitor, why be angry that a drink made for hydration is watered down?”  You monitor will respond with this next sentence.

“Dave, The Soda Jerks rank beverages based on taste and little else”

So after you unplug your computer to kill it remember what it said.  It Xyience Xenergy an alright hydrator?  Sure.  Do you want to have more than one in your fridge at any given time just to drink?  Unless you want a weak tropical punch flavored beverage with the aftertaste of medicine, no...probably not.

~A

This beverage supplied to us by Xyience

Xyience Xenergy Honey Ginseng

I don’t normally review non-carbonated beverages, but when the company who creates that beverage reaches out to me then who am I to say no.  Today’s drink up on deck is Xyience Xenergy Honey Ginseng.  Those of you who are fans of the UFC should recognize Xyience Xenergy as the official energy drink of the UFC.  If you didn’t know that, then perhaps they should rework their ad campaign.

Xyience Xenergy is sugar free, zero calorie, and vitamin fortified.  The Honey Ginseng flavor I’ve chosen includes Green Tea in the ingredients list along with several other words that you may have seen alongside some B vitamins and several other words that are much harder to say.

In case you weren’t aware Xyience means extreme science, and Xenergy is a blend of Zen and Energy.  With all nomenclature explained we should be ok to move on.

The faintest of faint aromas sits at the mouth of my newly opened can.  It smells slightly of honey and green tea...which is good because that’s what they’re going for.  Hopefully the taste is as inoffensive as the scent.

Four word review.  “Yay. Huh? Eh. Alright.”  Now let’s break it down.

Yay.  A cool refreshing burst of honey and green tea washes across my mouth.  It cools everything it comes in contact with, satisfying a thirst I wasn’t even aware I had.

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Twist is a Mad Xyientist.

Huh?  The gears change direction and now the ginseng and chemicals take over.  It’s not a complete 180 from what I first experienced, but I much preferred the initial taste to what I have now.

Eh.  So I guess I’m stuck with this new taste, but my mouth has quickly accepted this fate.  It’s not so bad and it’s still tastier than most energy drinks.  I really wished that first flavor would have lasted longer.

Alright.  So my wish is sorta coming true.  During the aftertaste the ginseng gives way once again to the honey and greet tea I initially enjoyed.  The only difference is that ginseng is still chilling there in the corner sulking because I didn’t like him as much.  The sweetness from the honey leaves a lasting impression and makes it very easy to return the can to my mouth.

Xyience Xenergy Honey Ginseng is a fantastic energy drink and a pretty solid regular drink to boot.  I could honestly see myself drinking this just because I enjoyed the flavor.  Yeah, there is a bit of weakness shown in the middle of each sip, but XXHG doesn’t tap out.  See what I did there?  I worked in an MMA reference to make part of the review quirky.  I should probably stop while I’m ahead.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Xyience

Begley's and Bill's Bananas Foster

The final beverage in my possession from Begley’s and Bill’s is Bananas Foster.  I’m fully expecting a taste of bananas and fire and will be disappointed if this is not achieved.  Ok, so I should probably lower my fire tasting expectations and just be on the lookout for vanilla, cinnamon, and perhaps a touch of rum flavoring.  

I’m going to limit my discussion of their sweetening agent to two sentences and then not mention it again as I’ve talked about it in the past three reviews.  B&B use SweetenFX which is their proprietary blend of stevia and erythritol to sweeten and it works quite well.  In other news, this will be my second or third banana flavored soda and my first bananas foster.  I’m quite excited to see what they can do.

Twist was the cause of the great banana famine of 1823

This has the strongest scent of the four B&B sodas I’ve tried to date.  The aroma is not unlike banana Runts which give me pause.  I dislike banana Runts as should you.  I’m pretty sure they just use them as filler so the bags aren’t loaded up with strawberry and cherry.  This isn’t a candy blog though…yet…so let’s move on to the actual tasting.

Alright, this could be better.  It certainly has a banana taste to it, but it reminds me of a medicine that’s been given banana flavoring after the fact.  After my sip was finished the some of the other expected tastes came in on the back end.  Vanilla was the strongest, but still easily shoved aside by banana.  I hardly taste any cinnamon or rum and maybe I’m not tasting it at all.  Perhaps I’m just wishing the two flavors into existence.  That’s how faint they are.  

Each sip I take hurts my opinion of B&B Bananas Foster more and more.  The artificial banana taste builds upon itself like lincoln logs stacking higher and higher.  I’m pretty sure I’m about to reach a point where I don’t want to finish the bottle.  This is a different outcome than the previous three B&B sodas where each bottle was emptied.  Nah, I’m stopping here.  This review is poorly written, but the soda is poorly executed so we’re even.

Begley’s and Bill’s Bananas Foster is a good idea, but seems kinda halfway done.  There are so many parts to bananas foster and while they still might be under the hood the less than stellar banana flavoring is the engine.  Give it a shot if you want to, but I’d buy quite a bit before this.

~A

This soda was supplied to us by Begley’s and Bill’s

Begley's and Bill's Root Beer

Sugar.  Free.  Root.  Beer.  I’ve never ever had a good one, but something tells me that Begley’s and Bill’s Root Beer is going to finally give me what I’ve not really been searching for.  You see Begley’s and Bill’s uses something they like to call SweetenFX which is their proprietary blend of stevia and erythritol.  All of their sodas are sweetened with it and their cola and cream sodas taste pretty dang good.  Today is uncharted territory though.  I attribute diet/sugar free root beer to poison.  Something important always seems to be missing.  Let’s see if SweetenFX can fill in for that missing puzzle piece.

If it looks like a diet root beer and quacks like a diet root beer... it much be a duck!

Ok, so the aroma is a little odd.  Like all the B&B sodas I’ve tried the scent is faint, but can be discovered with a little rooting around.  I can’t tell if it’s a burst of vanilla I’m getting or if this sweetening process is finally catching up to B&B.

It’s not poison, that’s for sure, but this entry into the soda market isn’t as strong as their previous two had been.  Let me preface all of this by saying it’s the best diet root beer I’ve had and that includes Virgil’s Zero.  With that out of the way I’ll tell you that the first third of each sip is very promising and enjoyable.  It’s sweet, it’s rooty, it’s good.

That quickly fades into the next leg of the experience where that initial flavor goes away and you can taste the “diet”.  It’s drier than a root beer should be at this point and even though it’s all natural a chemical taste becomes known.  It’s not something I’m sticking my tongue out over, but it’s noticeable enough to give me pause.

After this fades you’re left with an aftertaste that’s neither pleasant nor terrible.  In fact it taste a little like diet maple syrup.  Throughout this process the carbonation is slowly walking around in the background not really caring if he’s noticed or not.  Now it’s my opinion that root beer can benefit from strong or weak carbonation, but B&B Root Beer needs to add a bit more.

So there you have it.  While Begley’s and Bill’s Root Beer is still the best sugar free root beer I’ve tasted it still has it’s flaws.  It tastes alright and isn’t poison, so it’s got that going for it.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Begley’s and Bill’s

Begley's and Bill's Cola

Twist is also all natural

A zero calorie, partially stevia sweetened cola sits in front of me.  It’s Begley’s and Bills Cola and if I hadn’t had their similarly sweetened cream soda the other day I’d be nervous.  I’d be nervous about the taste.  You know the one thing I shouldn’t be nervous about?  Instead though I’m feeling confident that this will be at worst an average soda.  It’s not a terrible thing to be average at worst, it means you don’t fail.  Trust me when I say many sodas fail.  So lets open up this bottle and see what SweetenFX (their proprietary blend of stevia and erythritol) can do.

The cola aroma required is present.  It reminds me of RC Cola, which is my favorite of the three mainstream colas.  It’s a rather faint smell, but the cream soda’s was too and that turned out alright.

Score number two for Begley’s and Bill’s.  Just to get it out of the way, there is no chance I would have thought this was sweetened with stevia.  Where the cream soda had a bit of a tell, their cola tastes quite pure.  The mouthfeel is on the smoother side, but there’s still a bit of a bite at the finish of each sip.  Sometimes this would be attributed to the carbonation, but in the case of Begley’s and Bill’s Cola the bite comes from the flavor.  Speaking of the carbonation, it’s not particularly strong.  The bubbles are small and just fierce enough to keep it from tasting flat.  All in all they do their job well.

Again, the cola’s flavor isn’t reaching an above and beyond status, but it’s better than Coke.  Add to the fact that this is sugar free and only 8 calories and you see why I’m impressed.  It would be nice to have some added spice in this to differentiate it a bit more from your standard fare.  It’s good though and once again what I’d recommend hands down to anyone who needs a sugar free alternative or just like colas.

~A

This soda supplied to us by Begley's and Bill's

Koma Unwind Sugar Free

Ok, so this review is going to be quick and dirty.  Last week… I think… I reviewed Koma Unwind and was surprised at how delicious it was.  Today we have the sugar free version and once again I’m skeptical.  After thinking about it for a half a second it does seem to be a little self-defeating to have a “relaxation beverage” with sugar in it.  Looking at the ingredients of the sugar free Koma Unwind I see that Sucralose is present, so maybe this will at least resemble the fantastic flavor of its sweetened brethren.  Only one way to find out.

The smell is very similar, grape-tastic, so hopefully the taste won’t fall as flat as I’m expecting it to.  Here’s something fun that will lengthen this section to paragraph length.  Even though the can says “Sugar Free” throughout the design my brain continuously blurs it out.  It’s hidden right in front of my face.   There, that worked well enough.  Drinkin’ time.

Aww, drinking Koma Unwind Sugar Free is somewhat sad.  It’s like Koma Unwind died and after some time had passed my mouth is trying to remember what it tasted like.  The first flavor Koma Unwind Sugar-Free presents me with tastes like Mr. Chemical made it straight from the chemicals he grew in his garden.  Eventually you get a flavor that is reminiscent of Koma Unwind, but it just can’t shake the taste of its artificial sweetener.  Is it still a drinkable beverage?  Yes, but all the joy has been removed so I’m definitely not going to recommend it.  Let me make up a fun “math-esque” formula for all you egg-heads to follow.  Koma Unwind > Melatonin Pill > Ether > Koma Unwind  Sugar Free.  Before you go testing out that “formula” just know that I once scored a 12 on an Algebra II Final Exam.

~A

Even with someone as sweet as Twist near by it still needs sugar