Sprecher Gorilla Grape

I know we just reviewed a grape soda, but I love them so and the Carbo-Nation isn’t a Dewmocracy so I’m able to review whatever I wish.  Fish Paste… I’ll just put it up under Lifestyle Beverages.  Creed Cologne… I believe that’s probably fruit flavored.  The Season 7 Trailer for Doctor Who… buyer beware because once again River Song had to appear and muck it all up.  I really just wanted to rant about Doctor Who before I started this review of Sprecher Grape.  We’ve reviewed a Sprecher product recently and it got a very good rating so I’m very optimistic about them creating a soda with one of my favorite flavors.  Once again I must note that Sprecher uses glucose syrup for sweetening their soda, but they also use grape juice in this particular case which just might off-set that faux pas.   Onward!

Upon taking the cap off the bottle I notice it read “Grape Gorrila”.  Is that the name of the soda or just something fun on the cap?  The label does indeed have a gorilla on it so I’m not sure if I’m supposed to treat the actual gorilla drawing as a word.  I would also like to note that this gorilla is all up in somebodies grapes.  Three of his hands are touching or close to touching a bushel of grapes and his face exudes such happiness that I’m growing a bit jealous.  I’ve checked the official Sprecher website and it’s just listed as “Grape”, but those who sell it list the flavor as Gorilla Grape.  This is going to bother me more than you realize.  Onward… again!

The soda itself smells like grape juice which excites my palate even more.  Grape juice is up there on the juice scale for me minus the amount of phlegm, sorry to be gross, it creates.  If Sprecher “Gorilla” Grape can give me a delicious phlegm free grape juice with a kick of carbonation we might just have something special on our hands.  Drink on!

While the flavor isn’t as strong as I thought it’d be this is certainly carbonated grape juice mixed with some glucose syrup water.  In short, it’s pretty dang good.  My initial swig tastes like a higher end grape soda, but as you continue the consumption process the “grape soda” flavor morphs into more of a grape juice flavor.  Then the carbonation burn kicks in.  Like I probably say in most of my grape soda reviews, a good grape soda needs a strong burn to rank highly in my book.  I’d love to read my book one day, I bet it would be super confusing.

 I want more of this right now so you know it’s going to rate well.  Each sip I take is almost identical to the last.  Sprecher “Gorilla” Grape doesn’t really build on itself that much keeping what I initially thought was well and good about the drink well and good.  With every sip the burn returns and my happiness strengthens.  While I really enjoyed this beverage it didn’t ever give me a “wow” moment which is why you might think I rated it too low based on the review you just read.  Sprecher Ravin’ Red and Sprecher Strawberry both had moments where I couldn’t put into words how good they were.  I will say Sprecher “Gorilla” Grape was close to being up there with them, but I needed just a touch more.  Delicious nonetheless though.

~A

Twists older brother is a grape gorilla.

Goose Island Concord Grape

I really wanted to like the Goose Island Spicy Ginger soda I had a few days back, but sadly it was boring and a shell of what it could have been.  Today I give another one of their sodas a gander.  Get it?  Goose Island… gander?  What would a soda review be without a little ornithologist humor?  Today’s serving from the Island of Goose is Concord Grape flavored soda.  Once again I look at the label in hopes of seeing “grape” anything… no luck.  Honestly that doesn’t bother me as much with this grape flavored beverage as my palate seems to enjoy grape sodas with a high amount of artificiality.  I will say that their bottle art looks very classy and I would happily display it at a variety of functions.  The previous sentence is only a truth if the soda inside tastes as good as it looks.  Onward!

With the flavor listed as Concord Grape I thought this might have more of a wine scent than that of your standard grape soda.  Honestly it seems to be about an 80/20 mix with the grape soda aroma being the stronger of the two.  A good smelling grape soda sweetened with cane sugar.  You might be onto something here Goose.  Drink on!

This tastes like an upscale store brand grape soda and I like it.  With my initial sip I was greeted by a quick carbonation burn (something that should accompany any good grape soda) which was whisked away by the titular flavor.  Once the grape flavoring made its appearance it was impossible to not compare it to grape flavored Jolly Ranchers.  Just to keep up appearances the aftertaste is also that of grape Jolly Ranchers; this is certainly a theme I can get behind. 

Here’s why this “grape flavored” soda works better than their “ginger flavored” soda.  That quick carbonation burn that greets you at the beginning of your sip never fully goes away.  Sure it may sneak off behind the ol’ barn to take a gander at a dirty magazine his older cousin left under some hay, but he’s always within calling distance.  For those of you that skipped that pointless analogy, what I’m saying is that the fizz gives the drink life.  The entire time Goose Island Grape Soda sits upon your tongue it’s alive.  It takes a very long time before it begins to fall flat and bore my taste-buds and that’s where Spicy Ginger failed.  So I tip my hat ever so slightly to you Goose Island, you make a good grape soda.  It’s not amazing and life changing, but it’s tasty nonetheless. 

~A

Twist has the power to turn red grapes green.

Lester's Fixins Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda

I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Do you know why I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?  I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because I breathe oxygen and I feel the two things are both irrepressible reflexes.  Now I can honestly say that I’ve never searched out a liquid version of this delectable treat, but fortunately for everyone involved with this site I have one in front of me.  Lester’s Fixins Peanut Butter & Jelly Soda is what’s on the menu today and if it’s as accurate as their other beverages then I should be in for an interesting experience.  What’s making me want this more and more is the picture of a sloppy PB&J on the label.  It looks so very gooey… I wonder if they put butter on the bread as well.  By the way if you haven’t had a PBB&J you’re missing out big time.  Ok I don’t want to type anymore, I want to drink now.  Onward!

Well after smelling it I’m a little doubtful as it hints of cardboard.  Now maybe this cardboard aroma is actually that of bread, I mean they do have to have a bread flavor in there as well… right?  With a couple more whiffs I can’t say that I’d guess this was a PB&J soda if all I had to go by was scent.  Shall I pour us a drink then?

Not a bulls-eye in the flavor department, but at least the dart hit the target.  A surprisingly fizzy carbonation gives way to the initial bread flavoring which does taste a bit like cardboard, but not so much that I’d stop drinking it.  After the “bread” flavoring steps back into the shadows it’s time for the actual peanut butter and jelly flavor to show up.  Oddly enough the peanut butter is more prevalent than the jelly.  I figured the jelly would be the easier flavor to replicate, but it is hardly noticeable.  The lack of “jelly” seems to reduce the sweetness I expected to find as well.  I think if the “jelly” flavor was more powerful they might have a better tasting drink on their hands.  Don’t get me wrong this is still a drinkable beverage; I’m just not going to stock up on it.  At the end of my sip the “bread” stepped back up on stage and I was given an opportunity to “enjoy” all three flavors at once. 

Let me answer the obvious question of “Does it taste like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”.  Yes it does, but this sandwich was made in 1000 years in the future by cold heartless robots and turned into a powder for easy storage.  You open your pack of PB&J powder and place it on your government issued plate.  Then you take a quarter cup of distilled water and pour it onto said powder.  The powder starts to change its consistency and looks like someone blended your soulless manufactured PB&J and dumped it on your government issued plate.  Begrudgingly you take your government issued spoon and dig in.  That’s how close to an actual PB&J this tastes.  Much like Aunt Viv from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air the character was there for all 6 seasons, but there was something “different” about seasons 4-6. 

~A

Whitewheat was developed by Twist

Sprecher Strawberry

Sprecher is one of those companies that sweeten with syrup (Glucose Syrup) and I never seem to mind.  Most if not all (I’m feeling too lazy to go through our archives) of their sodas are robust in flavor and overall experience so I tend to give them a pass.  Would they potentially be rated higher if they used cane sugar?  Yes, potentially, but it’s hard to fault a soda company that makes such delicious drink.  Today’s beverage is Sprecher Strawberry which is apparently one of their seasonal flavors.  Instead of failing to be a proper wordsmith I’m just going to use the words that Sprecher has decided to print on the neck of the bottle that explains exactly what I’ll be drinking.

“Sip into summer while enjoying this refreshing strawberrylicious seasonal soda.  Fire-Brewed in our kettles with honey, vanilla and other natural flavors for mouthfuls bursting with sweet fruitiness that remind you of warm sunshine, laughter, picnics, swimming and all things good in life!”

Ok, so they’ve now set the bar WAY too high.  This soda is going to remind me of “all things good in life”… somehow I doubt it.  I’m going to estimate that you might find one or two things during your time here on Earth that reminds you of “all things good in life” if you’re lucky.  Of course who am I to say that Sprecher Strawberry won’t remind me of the way my grandmother let me steal pickles of everyone sandwich while she played non-the-wiser.  Even if it does remind me of that it will also have to simultaneously remind me that my mom asked me what “happy, sad, medium and bad” had happened during the day… with the accommodating funny voice for each emotion of course.  Oh and let’s not forget seeing my wife walk down the aisle towards me.  Obviously I’m being overly critical about their word usage, but things like that bother me a little bit and I feel they should be pointed out.  I’m a Jerk, the name of the site implies as much.  With all that said, if you haven’t given up on this review yet, I look forward to being wowed by yet another Sprecher beverage.  Onward!

Opening this bottle was the equivalent of shoving strawberry jam up my nose.  It’s such a rich, robust, sugary scent.  If I were to smell this while wearing a blindfold I wouldn’t guess it was a soda at all.  I now see why the crow sitting in the strawberries on the label has a crazed look in his eyes.  He too can’t imagine that this soda is creating such a scent.  Enough babble, time to drink.

Wham, bam, liquid jam!  Sprechers doesn’t come off as just red sugar fizz flavored to taste like strawberries as so many other strawberry sodas do.  It seems that the vanilla, while only lightly tasted, is what might help set this apart.  The carbonation levels are medium-high, burning your mouth just a bit with each gulp.  I’ve had five sips now and with each one I keep expecting to end up with seeds in my mouth.  I’m sure it helps that strawberry juice concentrate is a listed ingredient, but still it’s impressive to me.  One of the best parts is that Sprecher Strawberry isn’t overly sweet like most strawberry sodas seem to be.  Sure it’s noticeably sweetened (21 grams per 8oz.), but I wouldn’t call it a defining characteristic.  The richness of the soda might be too much for some which does take away from some of its awesomeness.  Overall though this is one of the best strawberry sodas I’ve had with the only downsides being that it’s not sweetened with cane sugar and the fact that it could just be too much for someone to enjoy.  I would like to take the time to say that as much as I enjoyed Sprecher Strawberry it didn't remind me of sunshine, simming, or my wedding day.  With all that said though I’d still keep plenty on hand.

~A

Twist has a bachelors degree in strawberries.

Smart Peach

Today’s entry comes all the way from China courtesy of my good friend DeeAicht.  What I’ve got in front of me today is a Coke brand called Smart and fortunately two of the three words listed in English on this bottle identify the flavor as “Peach Flavor”.  I’m sure I could have figured it out with images of peaches exploding from the word “Smart”, but it’s nice to be reassured.  You may remember when Mike went to Epcot he reviewed Smart Watermelon as part of the Club Cool review experience.  If not I’m sure I linked it somewhere in the previous sentence.  A Peach flavored soda from China sure seems like a pretty good way to cap off the week, let’s find out if I’m right.

There is a peach scent, but it’s buried deeply underneath a vague citrus aroma.  I really had to search out the smell of peaches and there’s still a pretty good chance my brain just made one up so I would continue on with my life.  Now I’m kind of curious as to what this will actually taste like.

Well fortunately I’m not a cat because, as with every review, my curiosity got to me and I took a sip of the soda.  I’m happy to say that there is no citrus taste and that the peach flavoring is enjoyable.  A light carbonation brushes against my tongue, followed by a rather realistic impersonation of a peach.  After the gulp had been taken the taste intensified like it was challenging me to take another swig.  I’ve had a few peach sodas in the past and this one is the lightest of the bunch in terms of flavor and mouth feel.  It is of note that with each drink Smart Peach builds on itself becoming less and less clean, but it’s not something that would keep me from recommending it to anyone.  As with any soda that wanes in this manner I must still deduct points because who only cares what the first half of their soda tastes like if it degrades over the consuming period.  All in all Smart Peach is an alright peach soda that you probably won’t ever see unless you make your way to China.  If for some reason you find yourself in this situation feel safe in your selection if you happen to pick up a bottle from the store.

~A

Chinese is one of the several languages in which Twist has mastered.  All dialects by the way.

Jelly Belly Blueberry

I have a friend that will drink almost any blue liquid you put in front of him.  I haven’t tried Windex yet as I care too much for his health, but put some ice cubes in it and it’d probably look delicious to most anyone.  Today’s soda up on the chopping block is Jelly Belly Blueberry and if he’d been around to watch me remove it from my refrigerator I wouldn’t have held it in my hand long enough to feel the condensation.   

This looks like liquid Smurf… if of course Smurfs had blue blood, blue innards, and you removed their hats and shoes.  For those who might appreciate a nerdier analogy this is just a shade lighter than TARDIS blue.  As you might remember I didn’t really like real blueberries about two years ago and then that opinion was turned on its head after I had my first blueberry soda.  Jelly Belly sodas normally taste more of candy than the actual fruit it’s named after so it’ll be interesting, for me at least, to see how this goes.  Onward!

Ok, so Jelly Belly Blueberry has a blueberry muffin-esque smell to it; though it should be noted that those are rarely true blueberries that are used in the making of said muffins.  On the more frightening side of the scent lies a slight sickly sweet smell cowering in the shadows.  Hopefully when it battles with my taste-buds he’ll lose out and be washed away in blueberry greatness.  Drink anyone?

Jelly Belly Blueberry tastes less like candy blueberry than I thought it would.  Kudos to you Jelly Belly for finding the middle ground of reality and candy when flavoring this soda.  As hoped the sickly sweet taste is washed away in the initial kick of carbonation that rushes over the tip of your tongue.  What is left after the soda fills up your gullet is the flavor of the “blueberries” found in muffins… or a flavor similar to that.  It’s not amazing, but it is somewhat fun and flavorful, about what I expected from a Jelly Belly soda. 

Sadly I am noticing that the flavor has degraded rapidly after I consumed half of the bottle.  Each sip brings on a somewhat bitter aftertaste that takes all of the fun out of the drink.  I’m not sure I’ve had a beverage go Hyde on me this quickly in a while.  What have you done Jelly Belly?  This isn’t some BeanBoozled candy soda where you replace a decent flavor with a terrible one while chuckling to yourselves.  I unwrapped the present and saw the Crossfire box only to open it up and watch my older brothers socks fall out.  I don’t even want to finish this anymore and now my wife is complaining about how terrible and overpowering the scent has become.  Quickly taking the last few sips to satiate her olfactory glands I struggle to find any sort of semblance of the original flavor, thus ending my time with Jelly Belly Blueberry.  Not quite how I would have predicted it, but if I could predict how these sodas tasted then I’d have a lot more room in my fridge.

~A

Twist is forever Hyde.

The Pop Shoppe Lime Ricky Soda

Today is the day I give The Pop Shoppe their second chance to “wow” me with a flavor of theirs.  Their Black Cherry Soda was rather boring, but today I feel they might have a better chance.  Lime Ricky Soda is what I’ll be ingesting and if you’re a regular reader of the site, or you just search out lime soda reviews, you already know that lime is one of my favorite flavors.  Now a “Ricky” is an alcoholic beverage that uses whiskey/gin, mineral water, and half of a lime squeezed and dropped into the glass.  It’s referred to as “air conditioning in a glass”.  You can read about it on Wikipedia… I just did.  Anywho, I’m going to guess that The Pop Shoppe just named their soda flavor “Lime Ricky” to be catchy and are not trying to match the flavor of the alcoholic beverage, but I’ve been wrong before…. Approximately 20 minutes ago if my watch is working properly.  Onward!

The scent is that of a delicious lime soda.  It closer to lime candy than actual lime, but isn’t that what we’re drinking?  A quick look at the ingredients shows no lime, but the incredibly vague “natural flavors”.  Ah well, I’m too hot to really care about that right now.  I just want a drink.

While immediately refreshing, and I emphasize “immediately” and “refreshing” the flavor is lighter than I anticipated.  Perhaps it will begin to build on itself as I continue.  There you are little guy, I see you hiding behind that short burst of tickling bubbles.  C’mon out where we can chat a while.  Little closer.  Little closer.  There you are!  You’re a dainty little thing aren’t you?  While the lime flavoring doesn’t come out and punch you in the throat, the taste you get is still rather tasty.  There is no syrupy taste that lingers in your mouth; it’s a quick refreshing burst of lime that cools you down and improves your mood.  Every sip cools my chest a little bit more like an air conditionerOHMYGOODNESS I see what they mean now!  Seriously though, The Pop Shoppe Lime Ricky Soda does have a better cooling/refreshing effect than a lot of sodas do.  So hats off to The Pop Shoppe for their Lime Ricky Soda.  You could have increased the lime flavoring, but the drink wouldn’t have been as refreshing in my opinion.  Well done.  This drink will always be welcomed in my fridge.

~A

Twist was a bartender from 1870-1913

The Pop Shoppe Black Cherry Soda

I’ve never had anything from The Pop Shoppe, but I can tell you that I’m looking forward to it for various “non taste related” reasons.  The first reason is obviously the spelling of the word “Shoppe”.  The Old English spelling of the word “shoppe” always hits a fun trigger with me.  Is this company so old that it actually makes sense for them to use it?  Probably not, but why not induce a smile when someone reads your name.  Secondly, the logo is super simple as you can see and looks like something from the 50’s.  Finally, the bottle proclaims the words “Cane Sugar”.  It doesn’t say it’s made with cane sugar, it doesn’t say that it’s sweetened with cane sugar… it just says “Cane Sugar” in a fun Mattel-esque shape.  Of course we know why it says this, but it made me chuckle.  So with that all said I should probably tell you what I’m reviewing today.  Today’s soda is The Pop Shoppe Black Cherry Soda, one of my favorite flavors in the soda world.  Onward!

Apparently Ye Olde Poppe Shoppe isn’t so olde that you need a bottle opener as the twisting action worked just fine.  The scent that escapes the mouth of this bottle reminds me of Dimetapp, which throws an interesting wrench in this review.  To the drinking machine!

The carbonation level of Pop Shoppe Black Cherry Soda is fairly low which isn’t at all what I expected.  I guess when you write “pop” in a review enough times you’ll just convince yourself that the soda itself with have some “pop” to it.  Now the flavor is a different animal.  This is one of the sweeter black cherry sodas I’ve tasted recently and it really seems to stick to your teeth.  The soda itself isn’t all that syrupy, but the taste just lingers in your mouth.  As for the black cherry flavor it’s rather common, but is on the stronger side which is nice.  I really expected to be blown away by this brand of black cherry because I’ve heard positive things about it, but Pop Shoppe Black Cherry Soda seems rather average to me.  The most enduring things about it are all cosmetic.  The lack of fizz, with the brief exception of a small kick during the finish, is the start to a fairly standard journey.  Honestly if they upped said fizz this would be rated a point higher, maybe even two.  I have two more bottles of Pop Shoppe soda in my fridge currently, hopefully they represent the brand a little better.

~A

The original spelling of Twist's name was Twistee.  The extra "E" is for "Extra Olde"

Jelly Belly Strawberry Jam

I liken finding a Jelly Belly soda to finding 50 cents in your pocket.  You’re going to be happy you found it, but you’re not going to brag about it to any of your friends.  Jelly Belly soda seems to randomly pop (HA! Our most overused joke!) up at times when I’m low on soda as if to say “Hey there, Guy.  Don’t give up hope yet.  Who knows how many flavors of me there are in the world.”  Today’s flavor of him is Strawberry Jam.  Now I’m assuming most of us are familiar with strawberry soda and its various forms, but I for one have never seen a strawberry “jam” soda on the market.  My fear is that it’s just a naming ploy to make their strawberry soda stick out in your mind when looking to choose said flavored soda.  It’s made with cane sugar, so we’re already on a good road.  So let me take you down, ‘cause I’m going to review this strawberry jam soda.

Ok, so the scent smells like strawberry jam forever.  It definitely keeps my mind from thinking that this is an ordinary strawberry soda.  My wife uses strawberry jam as her spread of choice when making a PBJ sandwich, which makes me familiar with the aroma.  Color me intrigued… which in this case is somewhere between red and pink.

This is fairly tasty, that is I think it’s not too bad.  The scent leans more towards the “jam flavor” than the actual taste does.  I’m going to attempt a rather difficult visual, so try and bear with me.  Picture the scent as a man from the 20’s doffing his top hat towards a lady.  He bends at the waist, extends one arm and fully removes his stylish head piece from his head.  Now picture the taste as a private detective from the 50’s greeting a lady.  He’s still stylishly dressed, just not quite as much.  He grabs the brim of his fedora and sharply tugs it down in a sort of abbreviated doff.  Both of these gestures are similar as greetings toward the fairer sex, but one is much more exaggerated.  You expect the full doff when you begin to drink, but you’re greeted with a bit less.  If that comparison felt like a waste of space to you don’t worry about it, the characters won’t be hurt.  Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.

With all that said, Jelly Belly Strawberry Jam soda does differentiate itself a little with its jam-esque flavor, just not as much as I’d hoped.   The strawberry finish coats and sits in your mouth for quite a while after each sip.  I wouldn’t say that it’s strawberry jam forever, but it holds on longer than I’d like.  This is just as sweet as you might expect a strawberry soda to be, which is very when compared to other flavors.  Overall this is a slightly above average strawberry soda that had the opportunity to set itself apart if only it tasted more jam like.  Ah well, it’s still pretty tasty.

~A

[Cranberry Sauce…]

Living is easy with eyes closed, which is why Twist never closes them.

Fanta Orange with Sugar

Well I’m still scraping by on drinks to review due to my laziness of doing that thing where you get in the big steel box and direct it to one of those large boxes where people find the different sodas.  So today we’re once again relying on my local foodery, a place I’m treating like a dog treats a bone in the yard.  Gotta save it for later, don’t finish the bone, gotta save it for later.  Today’s scrounging has brought me in contact with Fanta Orange.  “Big whoop” you might say and if you did I’d probably chuckle at you.  This isn’t your ordinary Fanta Orange, this Fanta Orange hails from Mexico which means… wait for it… yes it’s sweetened with real sugar.  I’m pretty sure most of us are vaguely familiar with Fanta, but if not here goes the sentence summary.  Fanta is the brand Coke uses for fruit flavors.  Heck you might even remember the Fanta Girls asking if you “Wanna Fanta?  Don’t you wanna?”  If none of that rings your doorbells don’t worry, it’s just orange soda.

After using my trusty vintage “Colorado County Federal Savings and Loan Association” bottle opener I’m greeted with the familiar scent of orange soda.  It’s not over powering, it’s not amazing, it’s faint and it’s orange.  Moving on.

Immediately I’m impressed by the light mouth feel this sugar sweetened beverage gives me, but that’s the finish and around here we start from the beginning.  Upon first consumption of Fanta Orange my taste buds are greeted with sweet orange flavor.  It’s similar to your basic orange candy, but slightly less powerful in taste.  The orange essence sits flatly in your mouth for a few seconds before the bubbles set in before coating your tongue with light fizzy bubbles.  Throughout the entire experience though there’s the very subtle hint of cardboard.  It doesn’t ruin the taste by any means, but it’s most definitely present.  Now this “cardboard” taste might only be in my world as I’ve noticed that it’s present in many of the orange sodas I’ve tasted.  Frostie, while I like it a lot, is the strongest example of that.  With all that said Fanta Orange is still a pretty good orange soda, but nothing you need to seek out.  If you’re already a Fan of Fanta (I really hope that’s been an advertising campaign of theirs) then try and find yourself a bottle of the Mexican version.  If you’re just “alright” with Orange Fanta then I’d say go ahead and stick to the HFCS version because it’s not worth the extra effort to find this.

~A

Twist invented soda flavored stamps back in the 70's, but no one wanted to buy from an iguana... pity.

Boylan Black Cherry

Boylan makes a good soda, so it’s surprising to me when I look through our reviews and only count three of their current flavors.  I was at my local foodery the other day and noticed that their deli section had those exact three flavors… plus one extra.  Fortunately the extra flavor was Black Cherry, something that most soda manufacturers can’t turn into a mouthstake.  That’s a mistake you make with your mouth that will we will only use when talking about a soda you have mistakenly consumed.  Enough of my newly minted word though.  To catch up those unfamiliar with the Boylan family here goes.  Boylan’s has been around since 1891, they sweeten with cane sugar, their flavors are usually on the richer side, and they have beautifully simplistic logos.  On to the next step.

Interesting.  Boylan Black Cherry smells less sweet than I thought it would.  I figured I was in for a finer version of an IBC Black Cherry, but the scent that hits my nose is much closer to the actual smell of cherries.  Hopefully this twist in the story will still delight my taste buds.

Oh, Boylan… you do not disappoint.  The flavor is that of black cherry, but is not as sweet as you might find in most similarly flavored beverages.  A quirky thing about the carbonation is that it adds almost a hollow mouth feel which is unlike anything I’ve tried in a while.  The finish is rather clean, not leaving a syrupy feel amongst your molars… if you still have them.  Of those three characteristics I just listed I think the level of sweetness is what took me off guard the most.  I normally associate black cherry as being a “kid’s drink”.  It’s normally a candy sweet soda that uses the word “Black” to differentiate itself from a basic cherry soda even though it rarely tastes much different.  Boylan Black Cherry is apparently the adult version of this.  Its flavor title is much more accurate than other brands and that’s something I can get behind.  It’d be kind of neat to have Kid Flavors and Adult Flavors.  Kid Flavor grape soda would taste like most grape sodas do now, sugary awesomeness.  Adult Flavor grape soda would taste like grapes, which to me would be equally awesome.  Combine that last idea with mouthtake and I’d color this a pretty successful review.  Don’t worry, I’ll remember you all when I’m rich beyond our wildest dreams.

~A

Twist bought this for me.  I'm not sure why, but I think he wants to borrow the truck.

Koma Unwind Sugar Free

Ok, so this review is going to be quick and dirty.  Last week… I think… I reviewed Koma Unwind and was surprised at how delicious it was.  Today we have the sugar free version and once again I’m skeptical.  After thinking about it for a half a second it does seem to be a little self-defeating to have a “relaxation beverage” with sugar in it.  Looking at the ingredients of the sugar free Koma Unwind I see that Sucralose is present, so maybe this will at least resemble the fantastic flavor of its sweetened brethren.  Only one way to find out.

The smell is very similar, grape-tastic, so hopefully the taste won’t fall as flat as I’m expecting it to.  Here’s something fun that will lengthen this section to paragraph length.  Even though the can says “Sugar Free” throughout the design my brain continuously blurs it out.  It’s hidden right in front of my face.   There, that worked well enough.  Drinkin’ time.

Aww, drinking Koma Unwind Sugar Free is somewhat sad.  It’s like Koma Unwind died and after some time had passed my mouth is trying to remember what it tasted like.  The first flavor Koma Unwind Sugar-Free presents me with tastes like Mr. Chemical made it straight from the chemicals he grew in his garden.  Eventually you get a flavor that is reminiscent of Koma Unwind, but it just can’t shake the taste of its artificial sweetener.  Is it still a drinkable beverage?  Yes, but all the joy has been removed so I’m definitely not going to recommend it.  Let me make up a fun “math-esque” formula for all you egg-heads to follow.  Koma Unwind > Melatonin Pill > Ether > Koma Unwind  Sugar Free.  Before you go testing out that “formula” just know that I once scored a 12 on an Algebra II Final Exam.

~A

Even with someone as sweet as Twist near by it still needs sugar

MASH Pomegranate Blueberry

One final MASH beverage before the four-fecta is complete.  I’ve worked up a powerful thirst cleaning the shower and what not, so hopefully this MASH Pomegranate Blueberry will help me rejuvenate.  If you’ve read the previous three reviews on MASH, and if you have then congrats on being better than everyone else, you’d know that MASH drinks are very hit or miss.  Enough chatter, I’m too thirsty to care.

Fortunately both scents are present in the aroma of MASH Pomegranate Blueberry.  The blueberry does outshine its pom brethren just a bit, but one of them has to win the battle… right?  DRINK ON!  (I really wish I had two consistent catch phrases to lead from the 1st to 2nd paragraph and then the 2nd to 3rd paragraph… suggestions?)

Fizzy, fruity, but light enough to chug.  MASH Pom-Blu (as I will now call it) is delightful right off the bat.  The carbonation seems a little more intense than in other flavors, which is a nice change up.  Both the pom and blu are very present and aren’t nearly as muted as previous MASH flavors.  This particular version of MASH is what the other flavors should strive to be.  I’m not sure if the particular flavors involved allow for a more robust taste, but it’s great no matter how you slice it.  Even though I’m getting a double burst of fruit flavors the drink is still light enough to quench my thirst and doesn’t sit heavily in my mouth.  Each sip still thrills me with the amount of fizz it contains, almost like it’s playfully shocking my tongue.  If you were to take all the individual delights from this beverage from this drink and separate them you’d end up with an average soda, but combined they make a fantastic entry into the fruit soda genre… and low calorie to boot!

~A

Koma Unwind

We air a show where I work called Chris Lafferty’s Motorsports TV.  Now that’s not something you have to remember, except for Hannah’s corner… that’s fairly entertaining.  The important thing about that show is that it is home to a fantastic commercial for the beverage up for review today, Koma Unwind.  I don’t usually put a lot of multimedia in my reviews, but I must share this commercial with you.

Ok, now that you’ve (hopefully) watched it you should be able to see why I was drawn to Koma Unwind.  This is obviously not a big budget commercial and honestly the first time I saw it I thought it was for wine in a can.  Who knows, maybe this will taste like wine in a can.  That would be unfortunate, but at least I would be understanding about it. 

The enduring aspect of the commercial is that we’ve all been there.  You open the door and you’re greeted by your two kids, your dog, a basketball and a skateboard.  In fact this family has three skateboards which seems a bit overboard (pun intended) to me.  You just want to relax, but alas there is no time because now you have to cook dinner.  All you want to do is wind down over a hot stove, but your two daughters come calmly walking in with the dog on a leash.  What can you do except over emphasize the fact that you don’t want them anywhere near you?  You could scream, curse, throw up your hands and just walk away… or you could drink.  That’s what is implied initially, that the average stressed out mother would go straight for the bottle.... AHA!  Herein lies the twist (not the iguana).  You push the bottle out of the way to reveal a room temperature can of Koma Unwind and you pour THAT into your chalice. 

Then with dinner presumably cooking itself on the stove you wander into the living room and just relax.  Your kids, dogs, and presumably their skateboards, have vanished.  You no longer have a care in the world as you’re left with the slogan “RELAX NOW YOU CAN KOMA UNWIND”.  So as you see the commercial is a little cheesy, but I enjoy that “local TV” aspect of advertising.  “Wine in a can”, as I thought at the time, would be a fantastic review.  So I asked the nice people at Koma Unwind if they wouldn’t mind sending a few cans out for review and they happily obliged. 

Koma Unwind is indeed a relaxation beverage that includes the ingredient Melatonin.  Melatonin, as you might know, is a key ingredient in sleep aides.  This also has HFCS and Grape Juice concentrate in it.  Now many of the “relaxation beverages” have names like Purple Stuff and Sippin’ Syrup.  Here is where I must salute Koma Unwind for not trying to pander to the youth of (insert country here) by naming their beverage after an illegal substance.  No, Koma Unwind took the high road and simply named their soda the two words that would describe what it intended to do to you.  Sorry, I must correct myself.  Koma Unwind is listed as a Chillaxation Drink on its own label.  Fun fact, I made up the word “Chillax” close to 15 years ago; unless you’ve heard it prior to then you might as well believe that as well.  Ok, I’ve rambled enough… it’s time for a taste.

The aroma the snapped out of this ice cold can (I didn’t want to try it at room temp) is that of a grape soda.  No one should be surprised by this since the ingredients on the side of the can listed grape juice concentrate as an ingredient.  I am taken a back a bit on how sweet it smells.  I think it lists 31 grams of sugar, but I can’t really tell because the font is a bit fuzzy.  Drinkin’ time!

Well that’s delightful.  Koma Unwind tastes like liquid, carbonated, grape Nerds candy.  The grape flavoring is just about perfect and the carbonation packs a bit of a punch as well.  Well color me surprised.  Koma Unwind is one of the better grape sodas, if it can fit that description, I’ve had to date.  Yes I know that it’s full of chemicals, but if you know me then you know the more “fake” a grape soda is the more I’ll probably like it.  For the most part each sip stands alone, meaning the flavor doesn’t build upon itself.  The aftertaste I get from each gulp, and I am gulping this, is sweet and light.  I think the carbonation level is what surprises me most.  It’s not an intense tingling sensation, but I can feel the whispers of the bubbles in my mouth long after I’ve consumed the beverage.  I think that Koma Unwind did a great job in making a relaxation beverage on multiple fronts.  First and foremost the taste could be that of a “normal” grape soda.  It’s fruity and fun, with good fizz to boot.  Secondly, as I stated before, they didn’t give this drink a name associated with cough syrup.  Finally they have an amusing commercial that I’ve seen over 40 times thanks to work.  Now Koma Unwind isn’t the best relaxation drink we’ve ever reviewed.  That honor would have to go to Mary Jane’s Relaxing Soda… yes, yes, I know, the name thing, but they get away with it for being truly different.

~A

Twist cannot get any more relaxed

MASH Ripe Mango Blood Orange

I feel like writing a short review today, so just go with me on this one.  MASH Ripe Mango Blood Orange is the third MASH drink up for review.  The other two were pretty good, but not spectacular.  MASH is pretty much two steps above fruity carbonated water.  If this is anything like the other two flavors then one flavor will dominate as the other sits quietly in a corner.  My guess is that the mango will play the role of the dom.  Onward!

I seem to be on the right track thus far as the most noticeable aroma that escapes is… bum bada buuuum… the mango.  I bet each of you 1,000th of a cent that the flavor will match the scent.  Cent for scent… I’ve mildly amused myself.

Well I owe you a collective cent.  While the mango jumps in at the end of this taste test, the blood orange is featured first.  This marks the first time the two flavors have both been represented equally, but I’m not overly thrilled with it.  For whatever reason the two flavors clash a bit with my tongue.  Instead of a fresh citrus flavor it’s somewhat bitter.  Maybe I got a bad batch or something, but this isn’t my style.  The bitterness sits there throughout not allowing me to fully enjoy either of the two flavors I normally would.  With that said it also takes away how refreshing the drink should be, which is sad since the previous two drinks were quenchers of thirst.  MASH Ripe Mango Blood Orange is very…yeah.

~A

Faux fact:  Twist isn't ripe yet, that's why he's green.

Virgil's Clementine

The review you’re about to read is an act of pure selfishness.  A few weeks back C.W. (popular fan reviewer) sent me a review for Virgil’s Clementine and I was jealous.  “I can get you a bottle,” he kindly offered… which of course I was thrilled to accept.  When it came time to post his Virgil’s Clementine review I balked and used one of the other fan reviews I have stored up in my storage facility.  I just couldn’t bring myself to read his review and have the Virgil’s Clementine experience ruined, not in even the tiniest of ways.  So now I sit here about to review Virgil’s Clementine while C.W. review sits in the fireproof vault I keep the other fan reviews.  The bottle sits atop my desk looking so very fresh and vibrant.  The bottle art is just a clementine sliced in half, but it looks good enough to eat.  I saved this out of envy and now I must hope that same envy doesn’t change what could be a magical experience.

The clementine aroma escapes, but has more in common with airport orange juice than with the freshly squeezed citrus.  Is this the jealousy rearing its ugly head, not allowing me to enjoy this beverage to the fullest?  Only one way to find out.

The carbonation slams against the back of my tongue, creating a stage for the following fruit juices to dance upon.  Sadly I can taste a hefty amount of apple and pear (two of the listed ingredients) more than I can the sweet clementines I expected.  To me Virgil’s Clementine almost tastes like an apple juice/orange juice hybrid.  This is truly a soda that allows you to compare apples to oranges in a single sip.  In the early stages of each gulp I’m greeted with a flavor that reminds me of fermented fruit.  I’m fully aware that this drink isn’t fermented at all, but the flavor still exists and takes away from my experience.  I thought this would taste a bit smoother and sweeter than what I’m currently experiencing.  That may be a problem I’m creating for myself though as I may want the flavor of clementine candy, but instead get the real thing in liquid form.  As always the ingredients listed are top notch and that should be rewarded, but today taste rules.  As amazing as it should be Virgil’s Clementine is just “alright” for me.  Now maybe that’s the curse of betraying a fellow soda reviewer, but until  can prove that I’ll just have to stick by my guns.

~A

Twist was even green with... nope, can't do it.

MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing

At the time I’m writing this review I’m supposed to be asleep.  Why am I not asleep you probably didn’t ask.  I’m hot.  There are several miserable ways to wake up that don’t involve emergencies of some sort and being hot is at the top of my list.  Your body just sort of develops this thin layer of sweat that tries its darndest to cool you off to no avail.  Fortunately I recently reviewed a soda, MASH Lemon Peel Ginger Root, which was incredibly refreshing.  Even more fortunately I have three more flavors in my fridge.  So after I decided that continuing to sleep wasn’t going to happen I walked to my refrigerator and pulled out the most thirst quenching name… MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing.  As many grapefruit drinks are this one is a light pink color with label art to match.  Since I’ve already reviewed what goes into a MASH beverage I’ll go ahead and quench my thirst now.

Wow, my allergies are kicking and I can still smell the pungent grapefruit aroma that this large mouth bottle allows.  From scent alone I’m starting to wonder if this beverage is going to be “too grapefruity” for my liking.

Meh.  The flavor doesn’t hold the same strength as the scent, but it’s still clearly a grapefruit flavored beverage.  Once again the carbonation is light and actually a little stronger than the Lemon Peel Ginger Root Flavor.  You mouth is greeted by a quick wash of grapefruit flavoring that grows watery by the second while the tiny bubbles try their hardest to tickle your tongue.  Fortunately the taste doesn’t stay in your mouth long enough to reach a negative level of watery…ness...ness.  The “Citrus Zing” is only felt at the beginning of each sip as a shock of generic citrus flavor.  This flavor sets the table for the rest of your MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing experience.  On a slightly different note, I’ll be happy when I’m done reviewing these MASH beverages because they have obscenely long names.  Sadly this flavor of MASH isn’t quite as thirst quenching (I don’t think there’s a better way to say “thirst quenching”) as the previous version I tried, but it’s getting the job done.  Remember when you were asked to make the bed as a kid and instead of neatly completing the task you just through the comforter over and smoothed it out?  Yeah… like that.  While I’m ok with this bottle of MASH Grapefruit Citrus Zing it’s just not living up to the level I expected it to.  In fact it’s about a notch below and will be rated as such.

~A

MASH Lemon Peel Ginger Root

I ran out of sodas last week so I plodded on down to my local grocer to see if they had anything I might be able to consume.  When all seemed lost I noticed a refrigerated case at the front of the store with all sorts of energy drinks in them… all of which had been reviewed or are in line to be.  Saddened I made like Tom Dooley and hung down my head and cried.  Apparently the folks at Boylan Bottling Co. didn’t want me to meet the same fate as the aforementioned Dooley because my eyes fell upon a bottle of Mash.  Technically there were four different flavors of Mash at my fingertips, but I guess there could be more somewhere out there.  This particular flavor of Mash, Lemon Peel Ginger Root, is like all the other flavors in the way that they’re all defined as Low Calorie Water Drinks.  I quickly checked the ingredients, searching for carbonation.  Check.  Upon doing this I also noticed that Lemon Peel Ginger Root Mash only has 10 grams of sugar per 8 oz.  Curious about how many oz. this stubby little bottle held I checked the side and was surprised to see 20 fl oz.  I like this shorter, chunkier, 20 oz. bottle… not sure why I just do.  Glancing at the ingredients once again I’m not sure how much flavor this beverage is going to pack.  There isn’t even any ginger listed as an ingredient of any kind.  I take that back; I guess it could be covered under the very vague “natural flavors”.  It should be interesting to see how they incorporate a listed flavor without said listed ingredient.  I guess there’s only one way to tell.

Before I even get the cap completely off a ginger/lemon scent comes wafting out of the mouth.  The aroma coming from this is very enticing to me.  There is something about it that makes me thing my thirst is about to be quenched to a very high degree.  Let’s find out.

This pleases me greatly.  The flavor is definitely more lemon peel than ginger root, but the two paragraphs before this should have told you it was going to be.  The carbonation level is almost non-existent, but needed to keep this from falling flat in your mouth.  Much like I anticipated this is a very refreshing beverage.  I’d happily have this by my side while out in any Texas heat.  While Mash is probably more watery than your standard soda, that doesn’t hinder its taste at all.  The lemon juice’s flavor comes through perfectly clear.  Minute Maid lemonade doesn’t have this level of lemon strength, but they are probably my least favorite lemonade out there so maybe I’m just throwing daggers.  My stomach feels the hints of a burn that would be caused by ginger and I guess you could imagine the flavor has those same hints, but it’s so little I wouldn’t even have listed it on the bottle.  Over all Mash Lemon Peel Ginger Root is a very long name and a pretty good soda; it’s low in sugar, low in calories (40), and refreshing.  This particular flavor isn’t amazing enough to warrant you going out and buying large quantities of it, but I look forward to the other three bottles that rest in my fridge.

~A

Twist was disappointed in the lack of bangers

Virgil's Blueberry Pomegranate

Ok, so I’ve got good news and bad news.  Bad news first?  I’m not going to sugar coat it… just gonna say it…I’m out of soda… my stock pile has run dry.  I do have a few on the way, but this ultimately means I must go out and scour the earth for new things to drink.  Actually I enjoy searching for new things to drink so this is sort of a happy time for all of us.  The much anticipated good news is that today’s soda up for review is Virgil’s Blueberry Pomegranate!  You may remember a few months ago a member of the Carbo-Nation reviewed this for us (C.W.) and loved it.  Well fortunately for me he gave me a bottle that I can call my very own.  Virgil’s Blueberry Pomegranate is all natural, 90% fruit juice, and that’s about it.  There are no preservatives, caffeine, or gluten in this bottle… it’s pretty much 100% good stuff.  That doesn’t mean it’s a health drink, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it’s healthier than your ordinary soda.  Virgil’s Blueberry Pomegranate is a lovely rose color and dons the traditional Virgil’s bottle cap that sits atop the rest of their beverages.  I must admit the typical Virgil’s bottle cap looks a bit odd on this because I’ve always associated it with cola’s, root beer, cream sodas, and the like.  Maybe that’s just a bit off putting to me, but I’m crazy like that.  Drink on!

While the scent escaping form the bottle is light I can sense a whole host of fruity aromas.  Apple is the strongest to me, followed by pear.  Those two seem to barge ahead of any other potential fruit smells and hog most of my attention.  The other scents sit quietly in the back waiting, hopefully, for their time to shine when consumed.

There they are.  Hi guys!  Virgil’s Blueberry Pomegranate has a crisp and fizzy mouth-feel.  The pomegranate really gets to shine throughout the entire duration of the consumption process.  I’m struggling to taste the blueberry as Big Apple and Humungo Pear keep blocking him from my taste buds.  This tastes a little fermented to me, but I know it’s not.  That would normally be a huge turn off to me, but that aspect of the drink isn’t noticeable enough to sway me in a negative direction.  The more I drink this the more I like it.  The flavor never sits idle upon your tongue it feels like the 2nd sip every time.  Obviously it can’t feel like the first sip every time or it would be as addictive as those addictive things kids are always taking as they ruin the blah blah blah and that’s why shoelaces cost so dang much.  Virgil’s Blueberry Pomegranate is an “Anytime Soda”, meaning that this would go well with a meal or drinking is solo.  Ingredient wise this should receive a perfect score, but the lack of blueberry takes it down a notch for me.  I wanted so very desperately for blueberry to have the stage at some point, but the comically large hook keeps pulling him off.  Other than this this was a fantastic drinking experience that I highly recommend to you.  Thanks, Virgil’s.  Thirgil’s.

~A

Twist is also 90% Fruit Juice

IVI Carbonated Orangeade

I honestly couldn’t tell you what I’m reviewing today.  It’s sitting here right in front of me, but I can’t pronounce it even if I tried.  You see, today’s drink is from Greece and it’s called hbh Carbonated Orangeade.  The only reason I know it’s carbonated orangeade is because the “English” side of the bottle tells me that, but those are the only words in English I can spot.  The label, other than being 98% Greek displays numerous fun images like an MP3 player and a guitar in an orange tint.  Using a Google Translation I check out their website and see that hbh Carbonated Orangeade is sweetened with sugar and also includes 20% orange juice.  I also found out that it can be called IVI Carbonated Orangeade as well.  I’m going to use that from here on out just to help out the search engines.  Thanks website!  Heck they even have a Youtube video on here showing you how it’s made.  Maybe I’ll check that out after this review.  As for now, I have a somewhat less mysterious soda to drink.

I’m not sure how carbonated this is supposed to be, but it has little to none.  I’m going to go ahead and attribute this to the long distance it travelled being shaken all the way.  Hopefully the taste will still be delightful enough for a good review, but I will definitely factor in that it might actually have carbonation if consumed directly from the store.

Ok, so there is the slightest touch of carbonation, which tells me that IVI Carbonated Orangeade usually has more.  As for the taste, I really like it.  The orange juice and orange soda mixture is done perfectly combining the best of both drinks beautifully.  The sweetness of the orange soda leaves your mouth very pleased with what it’s consuming, but the orange juice almost tricks your brain into thinking what you’re consuming is healthy.  As I was trying to figure out how many grams of sugar are in this (39g btw) I found that IVI Carbonated Orangeade is a Pepsi-Co product.  I thought that website looked pretty fancy for it not to be attached to one of the big two.  I’ve tasted carbonated orange juice before when I reviewed Orangina and I must say that IVI Carbonated Orangeade is the better of the two.  Now you’ll probably find Orangina a bit more easily in the states, but if for some reason you travel to a place that has them both, maybe Santa Paula, California Citrus or Ganzhou, Jiangxi, China… you should probably chose the IVI.  While I truly enjoy this beverage I’m going to stop drinking it because I’m not really sure when, or if, it has expired.  If it hasn’t expired then it’s a fantastic beverage that will fulfill any want or need for oranges you might have… minus vitamin C of course.  Now if this bottle of IVI Carbonated Orangeade has indeed expired then I’m not sure my tongue could stand to see what it tasted like “fresh”.  For now though I’m going to grade it on the flavor and mouth feel I just experienced.  Know that this rating is probably lower than it deserves, but until I crack open a brand new bottle it’ll have to work.

~A

Nothing is Greek to Twist.